Soccer AM

Max: will be washing the kit...

I couldn't believe it. I've been substituted many times - and until Saturday, rightly so - because I've been playing like a drain. But this time my touch was in and I was doing pretty well (at least I thought I was).

Max Rushden
Quotes of the week

This year Soccer AM got a new shiny presenter in the form of Max and we've signed him up to do his very own blog!

Every week here on SoccerAM.com he will be giving his opinion on the beautiful game, as well as an insight of what goes on behind the scenes of the show...

So I've always been critical of players who get really angry when they're substituted.

You know the drill - first they pretend they haven't seen the fourth official stick the board up, then when they do eventually notice their eyes pop out. Then, despite the fact their side is two down with a quarter of an hour left, they trudge as slowly as possible in the vague direction of the dugout, barely tagging their team-mate before actively ignoring the assistant manager who's been sent out to put an arm around them, kicking a water bottle into the air, and best of all - running straight down the tunnel.

My attitude has changed after last Saturday. We were 2-0 down away at Merton 4s. We didn't deserve to be. They weren't that good.

After about an hour I was put clean through, was flagged offside, but I put the ball in the net anyway (the 'keeper had stopped) and was just ambling back to the half way line, when my skipper shouted the most depressing words you can hear on a football pitch "Max, have a blow".

I couldn't believe it. I've been substituted many times - and until Saturday, rightly so - because I've been playing like a drain. But this time my touch was in and I was doing pretty well (at least I thought I was).

To begin with I was overwhelmed with shock. After about two and a half seconds, shock turned to rage. I began to trudge. I explained my disappointment to the skipper (who'd taken himself off at the same time) swearing just once, which was pretty reserved for the way I was thinking. He said "it" wasn't working and he had to do "something".

There was no tunnel, no water bottles to kick, no manager to ignore - but for a short moment I would have done.

I sat disconsolate on the floor, ripped out my shin pads and took my boots off and for about 15 seconds contemplated my whole life in questions. Why was I taken off? Can my skipper not see when I'm playing well? If he takes me off when I'm playing well, what happens when I'm having a mare? Am I going to spend the whole season on the bench? Do I need to find a new team, or a new club? Shall I wash the kit so I get a guaranteed start next week? Will I meet the woman of my dreams tonight?

Then I relaxed and stopped worrying - I started thinking about the fancy dress party I was going to later dressed as a duck.

We lost 4-1. I washed the kit.

What happened in Max's life this week

Max went on a second date with a girl. It was a car crash. Max was guilty of complacency after the first date - as a result it's game over and he is back on the market.

Max answers a question that people always ask him about Soccer AM?

Q: What's Helen like?

A: Helen is class. She's been amazingly welcoming since I got here. And she's smart and has some brilliant ideas, and a natural on air - I'm learning a lot from her. As yet we have had no rows (although we're still in the honeymoon period). She owns more chickens than I'd normally be comfortable with. But I like her llamas. She's better at darts than me.